Yolanda Smith

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Always never done sofa table. THE MEDIAN TO ANY SIDE OF AN EQUILATERAL TRIANGLE IS (SOMETIMES, ALWAYS, NEVER) THE ANGLE BISECTOR. "Dad, dad! I saw a zombie! " I was in the kitchen making tea when my little girl came rushing in. She ran through the back door so fast she almost tripped up the step. I poured boiling water from the kettle into a mug, hardly looking up. "Oh yeah? " "Yeah, I did! Its face was all pale and messed up! It was gross, dad! " I put the kettle back and picked up the milk. Sighed inwardly. I really had to be more careful about what I watched on TV in the evening. Rosie has a habit of sneaking downstairs in the night, and last week she caught me watching The Walking Dead, of all things.?She's had zombies on the brain ever since. I keep telling her they're not real, but it doesn't seem to make a difference. "Sweetheart, what did we say about zombies? " I scooped the teabag out of the mug and dumped it in the bin. "You know if you keep talking about them, daddy's going to get in trouble with mummy again. " "Yeah, but I saw one. " "I know, darling, but I already checked the back garden twice yesterday, and I can promise you it's a zombie-free zone. " "No, not in the back garden. " "Hm? " "I didn't see it in the back garden. " I had the mug half raised to my lips, but now I put it down again. I turned to look at Rosie. Her hair was wind-swept and her little cheeks were red, as if she'd been running. "Sweetheart. " I put on my best stern, dad's-not-happy voice. "I'm going to ask you a question, and I want you to be honest with me: Have you been playing along the path out back again? " I didn't really need to ask the question, because I already knew the answer. Rosie is allowed to play in the garden on her own, and sometimes ? if she asks us permission first ? we let her ride her bike along the path at the back of our house. The one that runs past all the neighbour's back gardens. But that's all we allow her to do. This area is pretty safe, but these days you can never be too careful. There was a burglary a couple of roads over a few months back, and last year someone was mugged on the high street. Several years ago, a few towns over, a little boy even went missing. That was quite a long way away from here, of course, but it made national news for a few days until the search fizzled out. And it made a lot of parents more cautious. Rosie's getting older now, and she's an adventurous girl, but still ? you have to have boundaries. And on a few occasions lately, Rosie's been crossing those boundaries. Riding her bike further than she should. Not coming in straight away when we call her. Sneaking out the back gate when she's only meant to be playing in the garden. As I watched Rosie now, I noticed her face growing redder. She looked away from me, down at the kitchen floor, and scuffed her feet. "Dad, I only went a little way down, " she said. "I promise. I was chatting to Mr Henderson, because I saw him in his back garden. I said hello and made him jump! " I sighed. So there it was: Mr Henderson was Rosie's zombie. Yesterday it was the postman, and the day before that it was a different neighbour. I took a sip of tea and shook my head. Mr Henderson was, in fairness, a better candidate than the others. The guy lives on his own, and he looks about 100 years old. Moles all over his face. Skin like a deflated balloon. Whenever we'd chatted over the garden fence before, though, he'd always seemed nice enough. Just a bit lonely.?I couldn't have Rosie going round calling him a zombie. "Listen to me, sweetheart. I know you didn't go far or anything, but I don't want you?" "I came right back after too, dad! " Rosie interrupted. She was staring up at me now, blue eyes large and pleading. "I promise! And I even said no when Mr Henderson offered me an ice cream, because I know you don't like me taking stuff from strangers! " I opened my mouth to respond, then paused. "He offered you ice cream? " "Yeah, but I said no! Mr Henderson really wanted me to come in and have one, but I told him I had to get home! And then I came straight back here to tell you I'd seen a zombie, and I... " Rosie was babbling now, her voice whirring like a motor. But I'd stopped listening. My mind was still stuck on something she'd said a moment before. Mr Henderson really wanted me to come in and have one. I took another sip of tea and frowned. That wasn't good. I didn't mind the neighbours chatting to my little girl, but I didn't like the thought of them inviting her in. Not without us there. Not even if they were just kind, lonely old men. I made up my mind to go round and visit Mr Henderson later, and to tell him that myself ? kindly, of course, but firmly. In the end, though, I didn't get a chance. Because a few moments after I'd had the thought, Rosie said something else. Something that pushed everything else from my mind, and ended any idea I might have had about going over to Mr Henderson's house. She said something that made me feel cold. "Daddy, please don't stop me playing in the garden. I promise I won't sneak out again. I don't want the zombie to get me. " "Rosie, I'm not going to stop you playing in the garden. But you have to make me a couple of promises, too. First, promise me you'll stop going round calling people zombies. Mr Henderson my be old, but he's not one of the living dead. " Rosie frowned. "I didn't. " "What do you mean, you didn't? You just ran in here a moment ago calling him one. " "No, I didn't. Mr Henderson's not a zombie. I saw the zombie in his house, but it wasn't him. " I frowned. I had the mug raised to my lips to take another sip of tea, but now I put it down again. "What do you mean, sweetheart? You saw someone else in his house? " "Yeah, the zombie, dad! I could see it pressed against his little basement window while I was talking to him. " Cold fingers ran up my spine. "What? " "Yeah, it was really scary. Its face was all bashed up and bloody, and its mouth was open. Like it was screaming at me. But do you know what confused me most, dad? " I tried to keep my voice steady. "What? " "Well, I didn't realise kids could be zombies, too. I thought it was only grownups. But I guess I must have have been wrong, cuz' the one in Mr Henderson's basement looked just like a little boy. ".
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Sometimes a great notion audiobook. Edit: Why is this top of the sub. Why is it guided multiple times. What's wrong with you all. Now with Bundesliga The lack of football has driven me to madness. Enjoy this list of footballers if they were Pokemon. Or don't, I don't care anymore. Done in match order. Liverpool vs Bournemouth Liverpool Adrian - Gliscor - Much like ash getting Gliscor, this was a surprising addition to a good team. Is bang average but does his job. Trent Alexander Arnold - Scorbunny - Despite being new, it feels like he's been here for ages. Everyone that starts with Scorbunny likes it. Everyone that didn't start with it pretends to hate it but low-key likes it. Joe Gomez - Toxapex - Relatively new to the scene but still has some decent experience. Established itself as a good defensive option. Virgil Van Dijk - Steelix - Been around for ages, everyone that's used it has loved it. Everyone against it hates it. That 200 defence stat is just about good enough to match Van Dijk. Milner - Ditto - Milner is a footballing slut and can play in any position for any team. Alex Oxlade Chamberlain - Diggersby - Always seems on the cusp of greatness, before something about the meta makes it a rotation option. Always something just better than it but a great option to have. Has big ears. Fabinho - Forretress - Fantastic defensive option. round shiny head. Wijnaldum - Crawdaunt - Sometimes forgotten about by people not fans. Underrated and everyone actually likes it. Salah - Lucario - Top Tier, based on an Egyptian god. Firmino - Umbreon - Keeps everything ticking over. Usually outshined by the other attackers but is the key supporting member. Mane - Pyroar - Has a Mane. Bournemouth Ramsdale - Pincurchin - New to the scene, forgot it existed. Smith - Escavalier - Been around a fair amount of time, was shit, transfer evolved him. Now decent. Ake - Zoroark - So much hype. Wasted. Cook - Accelgor - Been around a fair amount of time, was shit, transfer evolved him. Stacey - Pyukumuku - I don't know who this is either. Lerma - Ferrothorn - Seems to have been around ages but is still relatively young. Pretty good defensively. Stanislas - Magcargo - People think it's younger that it is. Has it's moments, otherwise just exists. Cook - Golisopod - Actually pretty good. Annoying face. Billing - Sandaconda - Young and deceptively tall. Actually good but no one cares. Fraser - Appletun - Unexpectedly small. Wilson - Sableye - Always had the potential, mega evolved into something really good a few years ago. Not been the same since. Southampton vs Newcastle Southampton McCarthy - Onix - Old reliable. Never quite hit the heights it could have but still well loved. Valery - Muk - Why don't you Muk backwards on over, Valery? Stephens - Farfetch'd - Used to be given away. Finally found a place to thrive. Bednarek - Galar Stunfisk - Unexpectedly appeared. Unexpectedly okay. Bertrand - Skarmory - Had a few moments of joy, being in championship winning sides. Been replaced by younger, sexier, foreign options. Boufal - Snivy - Cocky, silky fucker. No end product. Ward-Prowse - Mimikyu - Not sure of this is Milner, Beckham or Ward Prowse. Hojbjerg - Slaking - Had everything set up to be a class option. Something held it back. Still fantastic at moments. Djenpo - Dracozolt - An absolute shambles. Long - Seaking - Been around for an age, keeps getting picked and no one knows why. Ings - Quagsire - Always looked good, but could never deliver. Recent times have been kinder. Newcastle Dubruvka - Barbaracle - Definitely has 4 hands. Rose - Starmie - Used to be good. Gotta respect it still. Fernandez - Slowpoke - Does he know how to run? Lascelles - Gengar - Will beat you up, take your lunch money, and shag your misses. Also really fucking good. Manquillo - Vivillion - Just a bit of a gimmick. Saint-Maximin - Flygon - So much potential. Everyone praying it gets better. Shelvey - Electrode - Round and shiny. Tendency to explode. Hayden - Tropius - Just there to make up numbers. Ritchie - Alolan Vulpix - I want to like it, but I dont. Almiron - Absol - Older than people think. Not as good as people think. Gayle - Dunsparce - I'm sure he has a purpose. We just haven't found it despite years of trying. Sheffield United vs Norwich Sheffield United Henderson - Cofagrigus - Appears out of no where with more arms than he should have. Basham - Pachirisu - I don't know how it got this good, but it did. Has won 1 title. Still a shock. Egan - Exeggcute - My friends surname is Egan and we call him egg. O'Connell - Bouffalant - Can't decide if I rate it or not. Baldock - Ursaring - Average all over the board. Lundstram - Gigantamax Meowth - Unexpectedly brings in lots of points... Money. I mean money. Norwood - Stoutland - A bit boring but a key to a good side Fleck - Rotom - I still don't know what it does, but it's good at doing it. Stevens - Breloom - Looks shit on first glance. People in the know, know it's good. McBurnie - Corviknight - Came from nowhere and fucking bangs. Sharp - Cloyster - So old. Looks shit. Constantly wins games though. Norwich Krul - Machoke - Always looked like he'd be better than he was. Lewis - Falinks - Really tries hard, and I like it. But just isn't making the cut. Godfrey - Claydol - Upon first glance it looks good, is actually shit. Hanley - Drampa - Upon first glance is shit, is actually shit. Aarons - Eiscue - Got the potential, needs a change of scene to be good. McLean - Kingler - Been around a long time. Sometimes is a banger. Sometimes a stinker. Tettey - Turtonator - Always looks like he should be good, but struggles most of the time. Cantwell - Tsareena - Relatively new to the scene. Can be used to great effect in the right set up. Has potential for much more. Duda - Stonjourner - I'd never heard of him until just now. I'd never seen Stonjourner until I got traded one. Bunedia - Milotic - Is an elegant baller, and looks fantastic. Unfortunately, stuck with shit. Pukki - Wurmple - Got a party last year and was met with great happiness by the fans. No one cares now. Crystal Palace vs Watford Crystal Palace Guaita - Graveler - Been around for ages. Good option to have, especially if you can't evolve it. Ward - Metapod - Just exists to be hard to get past. Dann - Rattata - Been around for ages. Very boring. Some people think he's top percentage Cahill - Raticate - Been around for ages. Actually has success. Van Aanholt - Croconaw - Stopped in the middle of his progression. Could have been more. I still really like him. Kouyate - Piloswine - Been around for ages. I always thought it was better than it actually was. Needs more to be top tier. McCarthy - Plusle - I thought this was McArthur McArthur - Minun - I thought this was McCarthy Ayew - Gastrodon - Easy to forget it exists. In the right set up can cause havoc. Benteke - Diglett - Was a Dugtrio, but lost 2 of it's heads. Is now shit. Zaha - Wobbuffet - Get's hit a lot. It's believed the right leg is the actual Zaha and the rest of the body is a decoy. Watford Foster - Dewgong - Been around for ages. Everyone likes it. Not going to provide game winning moments as much, but still loved. Masina - Bunnelby - Ears are fucking massive. Cathcart - Cursola - Good as youngster in the right set up. Okay now, but could got here too late. Kabasele - Pangoro - I thought this was newer than it is. Capoue - Furfrou - French. As been through many different teams and stages. Hughes - Haxorus - I honestly don't know if he's good or not. Looks like he should be, but isn't? Then sometimes is. Pereyra - Togekiss - Looks fancy. Can provide all the set up in the world. Doucoure - Metagross - A fucking unit. Can do it all. Should be rated higher. Sarr - Mewtwo - Only person powerful enough to beat Liverpool. Deeney - Garbodor - Ugly. Used to be a bad person. People are starting to warm to it. Actually really good. Arsenal vs West Ham Arsenal Leno - Machamp - One of the best around. Has 4 hands. Sokratis - Houndour - A greek hell hound. Just not a great one. Mari - Patrat - I don't know who he is. Didn't know arsenal signed him. He can be a starting rodent because he's forgettable clearly. Saka - Bagon - Unreal potential, gonna be a banger when he's older. Ceballos - Gorebyss - Elegant yet shit. Xhaka - Scrafty - Will fight for money. Or for free. Doesn't really care. Pepe - Charizard - Only rated by those that use him. Everyone else thinks hes shit. Ozil - Espurr - Eyes. Aubameyang - Cinderace - On fire all the time. Great finisher. Nketiah - Rolycoly - Looks like he will be something special. Will lead to disappointment. West Ham Fabianski - Aipom - Jumps around a lot, could be better. Cresswell - Lanturn - Yeah not that bad. But no one remembers about you. Ogbonna - Scyther - Was good for a very small period. Fell off hard. Diop - Aggron - Looks and acts like a beast. Probably not as good as we all think. Ngakia - Castform - Not gonna lie. Didn't know who he was so picked a random pokemon. Fornals - Grimmsnarl - A lot of people like it. I think it's shit. Rice - Arbok - Snake. Noble - Pikachu - Must be about 100 years old. Always been here, always will be. Isn't go anywhere. Bowen - Toxel - I actually like it. Better not disappoint me. Haller - Tangrowth - I like it. But I also hate it. Antonio - Flareon - Riding on it's former success. Wolverhampton vs Brighton Wolverhampton Patricio - Deoxys - We don't know how he ended up here but we are glad he did. Boly - Dhelmise - Just a big fucker, actually good. Coady - Shuckle - How is he this good? He shouldn't be this good. Saiss - Golduck - Goes under the radar a lot but is a banger. Doherty - Doublade - He protecc. He Attacc. Dendocker - Morgrem - Clearly good, only going to get better. I hate him for no reason. Neves - Inteleon - Just sits in a sniper tower doing long shots. Moutinho - Umbreon - Been a round for a while. Keeps popping up in unexpected places and doing really well. Vinagre - Durant - I thought his name was Vinegar f
Sometimes always never 2018.